Codependency is a word that gets thrown around a lot. To complicate matters, defining codependency can be difficult because it is such a big and broad concept. Let’s take a shot at a few workable definitions. Codependency is often called “relationship addiction”. It is an emotional and behavioral way of thinking and acting that makes it hard to have a healthy mutually satisfying relationship. People who are codependent usually are in relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and dysfunctional.
(What is Codependency, by Heather Jones)
Codependency may have started in connection with families of alcoholics. It quickly became clear that we can have codependent relationships in marriages, with our children, with our parents, with our co-workers, etc. In codependent relationships, one person is usually taking advantage of the other person in some way, maybe emotionally or financially. The one being taken advantage of may be described as enabling. Enabling behavior is seldom seen in healthy relationships.
I liked the way; one person described codependency: “…a circular relationship in which one person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed.”
I can at times be a little codependent…sometimes more than a little. It often does not feel like I am being codependent…it feels similar to just helping someone who is in need and is stuck. My actions can seem like love and all I am trying to do is to get them unstuck…whether they want to get unstuck or not! Oops…there it is.
Well, in July, as a part of Celebrate Recovery, I will be leading a seminar on Codependency. Anyone can sign up and join in. It will be more like an introduction. You can join us for the 5:30 Fellowship Meal. We will meet at 6:30 in the Worship Center for our Worship Celebration. Then we will break up into groups and those coming for the Codependency Group will join me. It should be informative, maybe interesting, and a bit entertaining as we look at ourselves and those we love.
Pastor Tom
